Starting Again
by Gibbs17
Summary: The duo make a trip to Stillwater, to be with Jack for Christmas. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

**Author's Note: **I know its February, but I don't think a little bit of belated Christmas cheer should do any harm!

Gibbs parked up outside the small store. He almost didn't recognize it; it was submerged under layers of decorations and lights. He took a silent deep breath, and said to James, 'You ready?'

Finally, James nodded, and the duo left the car.

'Leroy! You're early! It's good to see you.' Jack said, pulling Gibbs into a hug.

'And you must be James! I've been looking forward to meeting you. You can call me Grandpa.'

James froze in shock. After a second he recovered enough to mumble, 'I'll get my stuff.' He made a hasty exit onto the street.

'Jeez Jack. Why? Why did you do that? He's gone and freaked now.'

'What? I was just trying to be nice, Leroy. You know, welcome him to the family.' Jack answered, but he did look concerned.

Gibbs ran his hands through his hair. Conversations like this, amongst other reasons, were exactly why he'd avoided his Dad all these years. He hadn't told Jack why he had suddenly adopted a kid, or what had happened to James, but Jack (he was related to Gibbs after all) had picked up on it – why else would you adopt a 10 year old?

'Dad.' Gibbs almost despaired, 'He has intimacy issues. Hell, he hasn't even hugged me yet. You introducing yourself as 'Grandpa' doesn't help. Damn.'

'I'll go talk to him.'

'No.' Gibbs said, firmly. 'Give him a minute.'

The father and son stood awkwardly, not making eye contact, for a painfully long time. In reality it must have been about 3 minutes.

Finally, Gibbs left the room to go and talk to James.

Jack was annoyed, he'd been looking forward to meeting James, and he'd gone and made a really bad first impression. He wondered around his store looking for something – James was a kid after all – perhaps he could win him over with food.

…

The attempt to lighten the situation using cookies by Jack hadn't worked. Gibbs hadn't said a word to Jack since. The duo had spent the next hour 'unpacking'. Jack hoped to make a good dinner instead.

Dinner was a tense affair. James' macaroni cheese was eaten more violently than it should have been. Conversation did exist though, and Jack got a rough snippets of the past. Jack couldn't help but be disappointed; he'd had high hopes for this holiday. He'd heard raised voices earlier from the exchange between Gibbs and James, but didn't know what had actually gone down.

Gibbs cleared the plates, leaving Jack alone with James. He took his chance.

'Look James. I know I made a mistake earlier. I panicked. I'd really like to get to know you, if you'll let me. Any chance we can start again?'

James stared at Jack a long time. The look had the same ferocious intensity as Leroy's.

'I'm not going to call you… that.'

'I know. Forget it ever happened.'

'I guess. Ok.'

….

Gibbs was up at the crack of dawn, a habit that had stuck with him from his days in the Marines. He was on edge, and no one else was up, so he left a note saying he'd gone for a run. He returned a while later feeling refreshed and more awake – it was a cold but clear day.

Jack was now awake and currently opening up his shop. It was around 7.15, Gibbs had been out about three-quarters of an hour, and James wasn't up. That was odd.

Gibbs helped his Dad set up for the day – another rekindled habit. They chatted about nonsense, neither of them looking directly at each other, as they were both still getting over the previous day. Gibbs couldn't get over the morning rush for such a small town – no shopkeeper would have opened at this time in DC, let alone have this many customers, on Christmas Eve. Gibbs began to mellow as he watched Jack interact with the regulars – he knew everyone's name.

Around 8.15, the shop became dead still again.

'Right. Breakfast!' Jack declared. Gibbs couldn't help grinning - his Dad had a thing for breakfast.

Gibbs sat in the kitchen and watched Jack produce the works for breakfast. He supplied the coffee. About 10 minutes later, he was presented with a plate full of bacon, eggs, beans, mushrooms and toast. Both him and his Dad disliked tomatoes.

Gibbs finally let the previous day go, and the atmosphere became slightly more relaxed. After they'd finished, James appeared.

'Morning! Sleep well?' Gibbs smirked.

'Not bad. I dunno what happened – it's past 8.30!'

'You obviously needed it. Breakfast is in the oven.' Jack said as he disappeared to serve a straggling customer.

'Ah wow this looks good.' James said as he started eating. Gibbs gave James some coffee, who nodded his thanks. Gibbs had been unsure about such a young kid drinking coffee, but he'd come to the conclusion it was fine as long as it was controlled. James had one in the morning and some when he got home from gym in the evenings, so he probably ended up only having about 3 cups a day. And of course, he was never allowed coffee after 8.

Gibbs thought he should show James around. Jack was left in charge of the shop, and Gibbs promised to bring back some apple cider back for him. The whole town was festive, everyone had decorations up, and some shops had gone as far as to layering their roofs with fake snow.

James was full of questions about Gibbs' home town. Gibbs himself was hesitant at first, but eventually he was explaining some of his childhood to James. James also asked questions about Gibbs' room – he'd slept in there. Gibbs showed James his old school and where he'd used to play football.

James eventually said. 'Gibbs, we're getting a few funny looks.'

'Yeah, I know, maybe they recognize me from years ago. It's a small town.'

'Maybe.' James said. 'Or they think you're suspicious outsider. Like you said, it's a small town.' James said cheekily.

'Smart ass.'

They had almost circled the town when they got to the local park. As kids had the day off here, there were quite a few in the park. Gibbs smirked.

'You see that bent fencepost at the back?' he asked James.

James peered at the green metal railing. 'Yeah?' he asked curiously.

'I ran into it on my bike. It broke my brakes and bent my handlebars. My Dad was not best pleased.'

James was amazed – he couldn't believe it was still there. He opened his mouth to ask another question when he was cut off.

'You did it for a dare I believe Leroy.'

Gibbs spun around. He took in the man before him.

'Mike! How are you?' he asked.

'Not bad thank you very much. What brings you up here? I had to take four looks at you before I realized my eyes weren't playing up.'

Gibbs smiled. James watched the exchange in awe. 'I'm just visiting Jack for Christmas.'

'That's nice. I've got the family this Christmas for a change. Who's this fine man?'

'This is my son, James.' Gibbs didn't miss the look on James' face when he said that. 'James, this is Mike. He used to play quarter-back on the football team.'

James looked at Mike. 'It's good to meet you James. If you've got a minute Gibbs, we could grab some coffee? And if you're happy, James can go and play with my grandson, Chris.'

Gibbs and James were both unsure, but Mike had already called Chris over. 'Chris, James. James, Chris. Chris this is Jethro, I used to play football with him.'

Chris nodded at Jethro shyly and said hi. Gibbs reckoned James might get on alright with him. Both kids had realized they were meant to disappear now, but they'd only just met. And Chris had a group of friends waiting for him.

Some boys from his group shouted back, 'Hey Chris. You coming back? We want to have a race across the park.'

Chris looked at Mike, who nodded. Gibbs did the same.

'You game?' Chris asked. James grinned, and they ran off into the park.

Mike saw the look on Gibbs face, 'It's alright, Chris knows not to go out of my sight.'

Mike and Gibbs ended up chatting, and the kids playing, for just over two hours. Well, Mike mostly talked and Gibbs mostly listened. They talk a bit about the 'old days', Gibbs had only been on Mike's team a year or so as Mike was a good six or seven years older than him. Gibbs heard Mike's life story, including about his three kids and four grandchildren who were 2, 4, 9 and 11. Gibbs only answered in short sentences, but it pleased Mike nonetheless. Gibbs was on his third cup of coffee when he realized they should probably make their way back for lunch. Mike got the hint, and both of them called the kids over.

They were red in the face from the mix of running, excitement and cold air. 'You going to the lights tonight Leroy?' Mike asked.

The lights? Thought Gibbs. He'd never considered it, but possibly. 'Maybe. Not sure yet.'

'Please come! Grandpa, can we meet them?'

'You heard him Chris – he's not sure. You folks feel free to join us though; we'll be opposite Rock Diner.'

Gibbs and James nodded their goodbyes.

'Can we go? Please?'

'I'm not sure. Let's go get some apple cider for Jack.'

'Gibbs, I'd really like to go – please? Please, please, please?' he whined.

'James. I already said that I don't know. Quit badgering me.'

The rest of the day went quickly. Jack closed the shop up early at two, leaving the rest of the day free. Jack and Gibbs taught James some card games – he'd never played before. He picked up Rummy, Sevens and Patience fairly quickly and he thrashed them both at Chase the Lady. It was a good way to pass the time as it rained a bit.

After a bit, Jack declared that he needed food. 'You want to help me make pie James?'

'Huh?'

'Huh?' Jack asked, 'What sort of language is that? You say pardon. Anyway, yes, Pecan Pie. It can't be Christmas Eve without Pecan Pie.'

'Ok. I've never had it.'

'Then what's to lose? To the kitchen!'

Gibbs followed them to the kitchen. Gibbs watched as Jack started to instruct James on what ingredients to get out, just like he used to with Gibbs. The only difference was the James liked cooking, whereas Gibbs didn't.

'Leroy, there's wood in the garage. Feel free to use it.' Jack smirked at him, he knew Gibbs hated cooking.

'Thanks Dad.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

**Disclaimer: **I own none of the NCIS characters.

Gibbs was putting the finishing touches to his photo frame when James entered the garage. Gibbs saw him observe and absorb every detail of the room. Gibbs' basement was smaller, but this room felt more cramped. Gibbs liked order, every tool was in plain sight, whereas Jack's working room was less tidy. But it was still functional.

'Finish the pie?'

'Yeah. Jack says if you want any you have to come get it while it's warm.'

'I'm there.' Gibbs said as he left the room with James.

The pie was good. Jack told Gibbs how James had mastered the pecan decorations.

'Good. Bet he made a mess though.' Gibbs smirked.

'Hey! I'm not that bad.' James protested.

'You spilt a packet of flour on the floor!'

'That wasn't my fault! The bag caught on my knife and split!'

'Uh huh.' Gibbs grinned.

'More James?'

'Yeah.'

'Yes what?'

James glared at Jack. Jack calmly stared back at him.

'Please.' James said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. Gibbs wasn't having any of that. Without thinking - just like he would with DiNozzo - he reached out to head-slap James.

Time stood still. The whole kitchen felt suspended and all the occupants had frozen.

Gibbs recovered first. He immediately started internally yelling at himself – how could he be so stupid as to not think before he acted? After a second, Jack came back to life, and made to tear Gibbs a new one before he saw James start to speak. Well, laugh, actually.

'Gibbs. That hurt.' James said as he rubbed the back of his head with a reassuring grin – he'd obviously known what was going through Gibbs' mind.

Gibbs could have cried with relief. Instead, the terror he had felt lifted. That obviously wasn't a trigger. He'd been lucky. Trying to act normal he stated, 'That's what happens when you're rude.'

'Yeah. Got it.'

…

They went to the lights in the end. James was so excited he was jumping up and down as they left the house. They had left a bit early, to take the longer (but more scenic route) over the bridge. They talked as they walked, and laughed a lot. Gibbs was amazed the holiday was going so well. He quickly removed the thought – he didn't want to jinx anything.

Mike's family was standing where they said they'd be. Mike introduced Gibbs and James to the rest of the family. All of Mike's family bought roasted chestnuts, and James got annoyed when Gibbs wouldn't let him have any.

'You've had pie today. No more – you know that.'

James didn't sulk for long, he was soon talking with Chris again – the two were inseparable. Jack mumbled to Gibbs, 'How come no chestnuts? It's Christmas!'

'He shouldn't. It's gym policy – to make sure they eat healthily. You know, get the right amount of carbs and stuff.'

'A diet at 10? I don't think that's right Leroy. He's just a kid.'

'He does gym sixteen and a half hours a week. The reasons have been explained to him. He's fine about it really. And it's not a diet. He's allowed stuff, just in small amounts.'

'I don't like it.'

Gibbs counted to 10. He didn't want to get angry at Jack for James' sake. 'Ask him his opinion before you judge it.'

Jack noticed the clipped tone. It was probably best to change the subject.

'That's a heck of a lot of gym. He must be good.'

'He's only been doing it about 3 months. His coach says he has potential.'

James didn't throw Gibbs off when he held his shoulders during the count down to the lights. As he watched the chanting, Gibbs grinned, that was a sure sign of trust. It was the closest the two had been. The street broke out in applause when the tree lights were switched on and the surrounding areas burst into carols.

It was the 'most magnificent' tree they'd ever had. According to Jack.

….

'Bed.' Gibbs declared. They hadn't been back long, as it had been too cold outside to stick around for much more.

'Come on Gibbs. It's early.'

'It's 9.30. That's late.'

'I don't want to go to bed.'

Gibbs took a deep breath. 'One, two…'

James took a running leap at the door before Gibbs started 'three'.

'Whoa, he really didn't want you to keep counting did he?'

'Last time I got to three, he was in bed before 8 for a week.' Gibbs said simply.

'That sounds familiar.'

Gibbs kept his mouth shut and his eyes forward. Jack laughed at the reaction.

About 10 minutes later, Gibbs was sitting on the edge of his own bed. They'd had a brief conversation about James' day with Chris.

'Gibbs?' Gibbs looked at James, eyebrows raised.

'Did you… I mean, why does everyone here call you Leroy?'

'Leroy's my first name. Jethro's my second.'

James nodded, 'And…' Gibbs waited, not wanting to push James. That always made him clam up.

'Did you mean it?' he asked. Gibbs merely raised his eyebrows again, waiting for an explanation. However, he thought he knew what James was referring to.

'Calling me… your son?'

Gibbs ruffled James' hair. 'Hey. You know I don't say things I don't mean.'

The look on James' face was priceless.

…

Jack could see that Gibbs wanted to talk, but didn't quite know how to start. Well, luckily, Gibbs was still his son – despite them not talking for several years. So he knew how to make it happen.

'Leroy, everything alright?'

That statement almost blew Gibbs' mind. As a result, his head filled with childhood memories. He'd got into a fair bit of trouble when he was younger, and a fair bit more in his teenage years, which had led to several unpleasant 'chats'. But, he and his Dad had also had some good talks. You know, the ones where no one feels awkward or obliged to say anything, but when it always feels better to get something off your chest. Gibbs' was taken aback by the question, and Jack could see him processing. He continued in his usual way, 'Remember you can tell me anything Leroy.'

Jack left the room. That struck Gibbs again – he would bet 50 dollars that he'd come back in with grilled cheese sandwiches. It had been a sort of tradition with them, and they'd secretly both loved them until this day.

Gibbs' brain was working overtime, as unlike when he was younger; he knew his Dad's trick of trying to get him to talk. Well, thought Gibbs stubbornly, he didn't need any help.

True to his memories, Jack came through the door with a pile of grilled cheese. 'I haven't had these in ages,' he stated, 'it's been too long.'

Gibbs and Jack sat side by side on the sofa, munching on their food. A few minutes later, Gibbs hit the TV switch and a game came on. Jack groaned at the teams that were playing.

Gibbs grinned; he realized they both hadn't been this comfortable with each other for over a decade. What happened next was not what he expected though. Jack got drinks for them both.

'Life.' He said. Short and sweet.

After a few more relaxed moments, Jack stated. 'James is a great kid. Maybe challenging at times, but he's got a damn good spirit in him.'

'Yeah.' Said Gibbs, he couldn't help agreeing. Jack struggled not to smirk; he still had the ability to break through his son's defenses.

'He doesn't sleep much does he? I heard him go downstairs last night.' Jack asked, seemingly innocent.

Gibbs paused, fighting an internal battle of wills. He was torn between talking to Jack, his Dad, (and the man who knew him best) and his need to keep all his issues private. Ducky had tried - and failed - to get Gibbs to talk, and despite considering him a best friend, it just wasn't the same. Gibbs took a chance.

'Yeah, he has insomnia. It keeps him up a lot.'

'That must be hard.'

'Yeah,' Gibbs' continued. 'Sometimes I come downstairs in the morning and he's already awake, coffee in hand, waiting for me. Other times I come down and he'd made cookies, or bread, or something. And I can come down and see evidence of him drawing, but not actually see any drawings. I can only guess he doesn't want me to see them.'

Jack listened carefully; tonight wasn't his turn to talk. It was his chance to listen.

'He's just adjusting. It takes time.'

'I know that, hell; he hasn't even hugged me yet.' Gibbs said, in a low voice. Jack didn't say a word, but the repeated phrase from yesterday didn't go unnoticed.

'I just can't get my head around it. I've seen bad stuff, but this is different. He's a kid, and he's been through more than most adults have in a lifetime. He doesn't talk about anything about in the past, you wouldn't even know he'd been through 10 foster homes. 10. In 9 months. He was flown out of England the day his mother died. He has nothing left from then. God only know what happened to him before he got here. He's like a screen, you can't see through him. And he has this silver present in his room, unopened, I have no idea what that's about. It's just…'

Jack could feel his pain. He couldn't understand it either. 'I know. I know. It's unthinkable what's happened.'

'He's never spoken about any of it. Sometimes he just freezes on the spot. And I know it must have been worse than what we saw on the day we picked him up – his body's full of the evidence.' Gibbs paused, and looked down, embarrassed he'd said so much.

Jack sensed his emotion. 'It's alright Leroy; you know you can talk to me.'

Then, so quietly Jack almost missed it, Gibbs said, 'I just don't know if he's going to get better.'

Jack grabbed Gibbs arm. He spoke firmly but in a reassuring voice. 'That life is something you don't get over. He won't get better, but he can grow. And from the looks of your relationship, you too are only going to get closer.'

Gibbs still looked unconvinced.

'I know you'll do the best job you can. But what really matters, Leroy, is that you love your son.'


End file.
